Most nights before bedtime the kids beg either me or TJ to come snuggle with them in bed. Last night it was my turn. Dylan came into my room with a Thomas the Train blanket draped over his head like a Shepard herding sheep...(this is usually because he knows he's going to be told to go back to bed and he thinks the blanket makes him cute enough to not get in trouble...he's right). He said the same thing he says most nights, "can you come check on me"....which is code for "I don't wanna go to bed".
So, I told him I'd be right there. I waited a few minutes finished my evening Vi-Shake and went off to his room. I peeked at him and his eyes were closed, but without opening his eyes he said, "I was just resting my eyes until you got here Mom". He scooted over and said, "come snuggle with me". I grinned and snuggled right into his trap :)
He laid so still beside me, warm skin like his Daddy. I put my hand over his heart so I could feel it beating and he placed his tiny little hand on top of mine and locked his fingers between mine. So precious. He whispered to me, "you make my room smell good Mom".
How is it possible to love someone so much? How could anyone not believe there is a God after watching a woman grow a baby in her belly and then bring such an innocent being into life? How could I be so damn lucky?
We laid there like that for a while and I soaked in every second. "Mom"...a word I didn't think I'd hear earlier on in my marriage. 3 years of infertility treatments and a failed cycle of invetro. And now, I hear the sweetest things from my children and wonder what I did so right to be so blessed.
When I thought he was asleep, he whispered "Elephants are bigger than our house". Innocence, is a gift we get for a short time in our lives and when its gone we get to experience it with our children. I love the things children say and the way they see the world. I wish sometimes we could all go back to those days and have the simplest of concerns.
Only a few more minutes before my little man becomes Black Sky, the Ninja that super-kicks in his sleep. So I slid out of bed, covered him up and stared at my creation, smelled his hair, kissed his warm cheek and smelled his precious little boy breath. I am so blessed.
Thank you Lord for all of your gifts, I am so undeserving, but I am so grateful for the responsibilities you've given me and I will not let you down.